WORK. PEOPLE. LIFE.

Did I mention I was applying for jobs?
I got one.
Co-workers can be stupendous when you're trying to learn a new job. Or they can be a curse.
My first day on the floor was great; helpful co-workers (one of which actually seemed eager to teach me everything he possibly could), understanding customers, lots of things to keep organized and tidy (*glee*). I went home with a sense of accomplishment.
My second day on the floor was... kinda sucky. The girl who was "teaching" me was, for the most part, one of those "meh, just do whatever" kind of people when I would ask a question that apparently she didn't know the answer to (and if she did know the answer, she would give it to me with a "meh, whatever" attitude). She was sometimes friendly, sometimes not, sometimes a weird combination of both. She basically ganked me for a particular sale that would have earned me extra money. I also found out I remember the register buttons and menus better than she does.
It was odd that I felt like suddenly I knew nothing despite everything, like it was all completely unfamiliar. Everything dropped out of my head and I suddenly felt nervous dealing with customers, I blundered around trying to find bags of appropriate sizes, and I wanted to beat my head into a wall when the stupid thingamajigger would not remove a security tag from a pair of pants and a coat ("teacher/trainer" girl mentioned later that she has never gotten that one to work... ).
It wasn't like the whole experience was absolutely horrible, I was just a bit ticked with the chick at the end of the day. And didn't feel like I really learned anything new.

After work- oh yes, it goes on (not much longer I promise)... don't look at me like that. ... STOP!
After work, like, as soon as I stepped out the frikkin' door (pardon me), I got an absolutely delightful empty/lost/confused/going-to-implode feeling. Which has lasted since. No, it has nothing to do with work, actually work kind of held it off. That would be where the "work. people." part of everything merges into the "people. life." part. Something occurred recently that pretty much finished me off, so to speak.
My mind has started a dead battle. Only way to explain it really.
Being utterly obliterated by someone you love, someone you were impossibly close to (no this isn't boyfriend stuff), is... something I can't even try to convey.
I'm actually suddenly feeling motivated to do things through it all, like I kind of overloaded and then started slowly re-booting. It's weird.
I'm not sure why I felt like sharing something like this, something so personal. Maybe I just felt the need to let some of it out, and at this point I don't really care what it sounds like or who knows.
I randomly do that. It's probably not good, but meh.

Anyway those would be the main reasons I've been gone; for the first time it was not just due to procrastination. And they're also the reasons I'm coming back.
*ahem*


So, I'm trying to catch up with comments and faves.
That's a first.
Thanks people for all your wonderful support and love as I keep disappearing and popping back up. You're all so patient with me. And I apologize for taking so long to reply to all the feedback. I was a little astounded to log in and find so much there, especially considering how crummy I am with giving comments to others =/
I'll kick myself into taking care of all of it in the next couple days as I adjust to a new schedule and fix my priorities.


Also: my dry, odd, boring sense of humor is still intact. I just can't think of anything silly to say... O_o